What Sarah Jacobs Won't Tell Her Children
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Melanie Matthewson changes her name to Sarah Jacobs, but why? Born in the late 1960's, Melanie is the product of a marriage of necessity, her father hardworking, self-obsessed and controlling, and her mother an escapee from a childhood of sexual abuse. Deprived of positive parenting, Melanie formulates her own ideas and values, shaped largely by idealistic examples from the television. Melanie is determined to break the cycle of abuse, but at what personal cost? In order to achieve her goal, must she sacrifice her own needs and desires? ... and how do you find true love when you do not know what it looks like? Peppered with humour, What Sarah Jacobs Won't Tell Her Children is a story of betrayal, abandonment and loss, but also kindness, hope and triumph. It is a story of personal empowerment, of finding self-respect and taking responsibility for one's own happiness. In her writing debut, author STEPHANIE DAVIDSON takes you on an insightful and compelling journey with this concise and hard-hitting slice of New Zealand life.
'Recommended Reading' for University Social Work and Human Services Programmes, as recommended by Nikki Evans, lecturer at University of Canterbury. I was gripped by your book from start to finish, and couldn't wait to get back to it each time I reluctantly put it down! The descriptions of New Zealand life growing up were very colourful. Both entertaining and sad. I can't wait to read your next book. - F.R., Teacher, Christchurch.
Outwardly, perhaps. But inwardly? Now, that is another story ... Verbal abuse, sexual abuse, neglect ... our children are suffering. They do so in silence because the very people they look to for their most basic of needs – food, shelter, protection - are the ones dishing out the hurt. Those who survive, perhaps outwardly unscathed, carry with them hidden scars. Shame. Low self-worth. A sense of isolation. They drift ahead in life, in their minds, to some magical age when everything will become 'normal'. They can see it, hear it, feel it. They are married now, with children of their own, or are halfway across the world having the time of their lives. Then all of a sudden they are 16, or 21, or 30 with that awesome job or the really nice boyfriend ... yet there is this gaping hole under their rib cage that just won't be filled. They struggle to belong, constantly searching for that place, that person, that thing that will make them complete. The yearning builds ... and then it plays out. In frustration. In abandonment. In some really weird choices. New Zealand child abuse statistics are abhorrent. Over 80,000 children witness family violence each year. Please refer to the following website link: High profile media stories often focus on the Maori community, such as the legal proceedings around the death of the infant Kahui twins in 2006, and the hugely successful Once Were Warriors book (1990) and movie (1994). What Sarah Jacobs Won't Tell Her Children raises awareness of the ripple effect of bad behaviour. It reminds us that a child's sense of self is affected by what we do and say around them. It shows that abuse also happens in 'normal' white middleclass families. It serves to demonstrate that with strength, courage and determination we can break the cycle.
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