What Sarah Jacobs Won't Tell Her Children

 

 


Genre:  Creative non-fiction
Cover:  Paperback
Pages: 180
ISBN:   978-0-473-16940-4
 

 
What does it take to break the cycle of inter-generational abuse... when you live in the real world?

What Sarah Jacobs Won't Tell Her Children is the story of one girl's struggle to make sense of a difficult childhood, to reach self-acceptance, and to find love at a time when short term, instantly-gratifying relationships are the norm. 

Melanie Matthewson changes her name to Sarah Jacobs, but why?

Born in the late 1960's, Melanie is the product of a marriage of necessity, her father hardworking, self-obsessed and controlling, and her mother an escapee from a childhood of sexual abuse.  Deprived of positive parenting, Melanie formulates her own ideas and values, shaped largely by idealistic examples from the television.

Melanie is determined to break the cycle of abuse, but at what personal cost?  In order to achieve her goal, must she sacrifice her own needs and desires?

... and how do you find true love when you do not know what it looks like?

Peppered with humour, What Sarah Jacobs Won't Tell Her Children is a story of betrayal, abandonment and loss, but also kindness, hope and triumph.  It is a story of personal empowerment, of finding self-respect and taking responsibility for one's own happiness.

In her writing debut, author STEPHANIE DAVIDSON takes you on an insightful and compelling journey with this concise and hard-hitting slice of New Zealand life.

 

'Recommended Reading' for University Social Work and Human Services Programmes, as recommended by Nikki Evans, lecturer at University of Canterbury.

I was gripped by your book from start to finish, and couldn't wait to get back to it each time I reluctantly put it down!  The descriptions of New Zealand life growing up were very colourful.  Both entertaining and sad.  I can't wait to read your next book.  - F.R., Teacher, Christchurch.


"You are so TOGETHER, so calm and controlled."

Outwardly, perhaps. But inwardly? Now, that is another story ...

Verbal abuse, sexual abuse, neglect ... our children are suffering. They do so in silence because the very people they look to for their most basic of needs – food, shelter, protection - are the ones dishing out the hurt.

Those who survive, perhaps outwardly unscathed, carry with them hidden scars. Shame. Low self-worth. A sense of isolation. They drift ahead in life, in their minds, to some magical age when everything will become 'normal'. They can see it, hear it, feel it. They are married now, with children of their own, or are halfway across the world having the time of their lives.

Then all of a sudden they are 16, or 21, or 30 with that awesome job or the really nice boyfriend ... yet there is this gaping hole under their rib cage that just won't be filled. They struggle to belong, constantly searching for that place, that person, that thing that will make them complete. The yearning builds ... and then it plays out. In frustration. In abandonment. In some really weird choices.

New Zealand child abuse statistics are abhorrent. Over 80,000 children witness family violence each year. Please refer to the following website link:

New Zealand Statistics

And we do not seem to be taking it seriously, as is evident in this recent example of a man who admitted to a sexual assault on his daughter yet was released without conviction or consequence :

NZ Herald article

High profile media stories often focus on the Maori community, such as the legal proceedings around the death of the infant Kahui twins in 2006, and the hugely successful Once Were Warriors book (1990) and movie (1994).

What Sarah Jacobs Won't Tell Her Children raises awareness of the ripple effect of bad behaviour.  It reminds us that a child's sense of self is affected by what we do and say around them. It shows that abuse also happens in 'normal' white middleclass families. It serves to demonstrate that with strength, courage and determination we can break the cycle.

Reviews

I finished your book a few days ago and would like to congratulate you on an insightful look on family life in the 70's. ...  I am hoping that we as adults and parents can reflect more fully on what we say and what we do with our little ones. Maybe each generation hopes for this? Thank-you for making me giggle, reflect and cry with your words ... Good luck with your next novel?  - S.C., Teacher, Dunedin.

I have read your book, twice, and enjoyed it very much. Which is why I read it twice... - J.S., Case Manager, Rangiora.

I have read quite a bit over the last couple of nights. I am really enjoying it. - R.M., Christchurch.

My friend has just finished your book and she could not put it down ('til) finished - she loved it ... I am going to start it next. - D.C., Administrator, Rangiora.

I loved reading your book ... and I especially look forward to reading another from you. -  D.L., Personal Banker, Rangiora.

I am nearing the end of your book – on the 20th chapter. I would have liked to read it in one go but time is a factor for me. I nearly rang you about it. You deserve a hug. I can't wait to read the end. M.P., Catholic Priest, Canterbury.

I have been devouring it on the train to and from work - it certainly made the travel time go fast! ... I think you are a very good writer ... I thought your book flowed well and kept my interest throughout to find out what happened to Melanie/Sarah in the end.  J.B., Administrator, United Kingdom.

I was at your talk ... I thought you spoke well ... I am 58 years old.  I thought you were gutsy talking about the dating problem and sex.  I had the same problem when I was young also ... I have been involved with Family Planning for 20 odd years.  I do not agree with free sex but in CHOICE.  There is such a double standard out there ... It has just got worse this dating game and people still will not face up to it.  H.B., Christchurch.

I loved it!  J.E., Interior Designer, Canterbury.

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Purchasing Options:

 

Email the author direct or buy online from Oamaru Print and Copy - Order online here!

Price: $25.00includes standard postage within New Zealand.

 

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Book Clubs/Discussion Groups: Readers' Questions available - Email the author for more information.